*Из деньрожденных подарков, откуда-то из сети*
Spelling Reform
The European Commission have just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, her Majesty' s government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five
year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish"...
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"....
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should
klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This
will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the third
year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language
is disgraceful, and they should go away. By the fourth yar,
peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"
and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yar, ze uneserary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL KUM TRU